Family

Tutorial (3)

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Jonathan Kearney - June 18th - 9:30am - Skype

I’m anxious to post on the blog, there’s so much I want to say, but i’m finding it strange to formally put things into words. Jonathan & I contemplated the blog as a time capsule ~ speaking to myself in the future. 

My work currently jumps from medium to medium, tool to tool, but the same narrative wants to get told. Jonathan suggested thinking about how these mediums could visually come together ~ embracing the fragmentation?

Some things in progress; 

family interview questions, further research into the the theoretical mathematics of spheres (use C4D sphere object properties to experiment/simulate/tweak? the theories). 

The Spider

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Spiders are genetically programmed to generate a symmetric algorithm of web - a map they are born with. I adopted the term ‘spider’ around two years ago - my brother and I were both attempting to reconcile with a loss of a loved one, an internal conflict of morale, an existential crisis that left us both in an agoraphobic state; unable to trust the innenwelt, unable to trust the umwelt. My brother and I have had a long history of trauma, symptoms of emotional flashbacks seemed to take a toll on the ways in which we processed novel traumas, unable to disconnect the web of our present from that of our past. It’s like watching a jump scare scene from a horror film on repeat, panicking, trying to find the remote to shut off the screen - but you realize you’re tied to your chair, unable to leave or move until the film decides to end at its own accord. We talked about this process, the inability to ‘control’ - how it frustrated it us, if we could find a way around it. That part we weren’t able to control was eventually named ‘The Spider’. A part of our mind that breathes for us, knows what to do when we sleep, knows what dreams to engage us in, to spark our interest. Albeit, as separate as it may seem, The Spider is still part of us. A mixture of the Peripheral Nervous System (PNS), the Subconscious and unconscious. The Spider takes care of everything that is not in our immediate attention, even thoughts we shove aside as we try to just engage in the everyday. As much as we’d like to believe that the spider and its daily ‘tasks’ are inaccessible, they aren’t. There exists a consciousness beyond the conscious, most commonly referred to as the meta-conscious - a level of thought that can contemplate the state of being conscious. As practice, my brother and I attempted to engage with that state of meta-consciousness, observing The Spider and its decisions - eventually redirecting it in healthier ways. Meta-consciousness is like a lens, a camera - a wide focused view on the body, mind, environment, and space. To be meta-conscious is to become a flaneur on the streets of your mind, watching thoughts swoosh by - traffic can be exhausting sometimes. A form of astral projection happening within the innenwelt, a meta-projection (so many metas, I know). A flaneur on busy city streets gazes at shadow, symmetry, and composition, contemplating the connections, the histories and reasonings, fragments of a greater puzzle. A meta-projection is just that, except instead of a city, it’s you. I’d like to take a closer look at The Spider, from a meta-conscious level, contemplating its activity.

Evaluating elements (symbols-signs-significations-language) in a virtual portrait of The Spider - through a meta-consciousness lens. 

Body    Gender & Interpellation, Mind & Matter, Senses & Auras, Skin & Gravity.

Body

Gender & Interpellation, Mind & Matter, Senses & Auras, Skin & Gravity.


Space    Tangible & Intangible , Location & distortion, Innenwelt & Umwelt, Adaptations & Transitions.

Space

Tangible & Intangible , Location & distortion, Innenwelt & Umwelt, Adaptations & Transitions.


Sphere    Identity & reality, Perception & Difference, Views & Beliefs, Histories & Drives.

Sphere

Identity & reality, Perception & Difference, Views & Beliefs, Histories & Drives.


Environment    Socius & Culture, History & Paradigm, Public & Private, Family & Tradition.

Environment

Socius & Culture, History & Paradigm, Public & Private, Family & Tradition.





Tutorial (2)

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Jonathan Kearney - January 14th - 10:15am - Skype

Jonathan and I discussed how my scope and direction has narrowed down - A strong focus on ‘empathy’ as a concept. Reoccurring symbols, such as spheres and hands, appear to have become a language - a methodology in comprehending further discoveries about empathy. We further examined the role of family/culture and familiarity in my creative process, and future documentations i’d like to capture in Beirut over the summer - intergenerational, trilingual, history, home.  It seems as though most recent works have become a reflection of ‘empathy’, an attempt to grasp the concept as a whole as a still life (through 3D renderings). I see this process becoming part of a larger ‘circulatory’ narrative - displayed on screen. Various mediums, contexts, languages - all attempting to define/imagine/distribute empathy. 

We discussed the blog as a platform, a mirror - meant as a time capsule, to re-examine the evolution of my creative endeavours and processes. I struggled with the language, but Jonathan encouraged the fragmentation of language, as long as it could be accurately re-examined and comprehended in the future. 

My next steps are to document and upload the works I’ve generated over the break, examine the relationships between them, and carry forward with a more evolved visual language - even using different mediums such as film, paint, photography, glass/chrome?